


Don't Mess With Me

by Willowshade



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, Morning Routines, Riza-centric, light - Freeform, song-fic of sorts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 09:11:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14493648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowshade/pseuds/Willowshade
Summary: It was all routine to her. Waking up to greet Black Hayate by her door, never knowing if the Colonel would be late or not, the daily morning drills, even the intrusive questions from the female coworkers in the HQ."Plus, I'm sure I'm not his type."





	Don't Mess With Me

_Here they're coming with their guns, guns, guns_  
_Singing, "Move, stick 'em up"_

 

_You don't wanna, don't wanna_  
_Don't wanna mess with me_

 

 

\---  
\--  
-

As far as her days went, she had a strict routine. 

Riza woke up usually a few minutes before the alarm clock. She spent that time rubbing at her eyes and indulging in messy thoughts as the sleep had yet to completely leave her: 

It's been already one week in Central HQ... 

I miss the quiet of the east sometimes...

I wonder if Roy will be late today...-

The alarm clock went off exactly at 5:30 and Riza bolted out of bed, eyes wide.

Like clockwork, she heard Black Hayate puffing through his nose and pawing at her door. She smiled, walking towards the door, her thin black camisole brushing against her tights as she went, its spaghetti stripes exposing the vast expense of the tattoo on her back. 

"Morning, Black Hayate." She greeted, noting with approval that the puppy was sat at command position. 

He did finally learn! She thought, feeling proud.

"Come in now." She said, as just as that the puppy jumped at her knees, tail swing back and forth animatedly. She crunched at his level, her long fair hair falling against her face as she stretched playfully behind the dog's ears. 

Ten minutes later, she left her room, with the puppy following her obediently towards the kitchen. She had her hair pushed back and was had dressed in her navy blue uniform, but had yet to put on her combat boots and to button her jacket, showing she wore a high-collared sleeveless black blouse underneath, fitting tight against her body.

Riza out of practice sidestepped the boxes still laying in the corridor, and in the kitchen floor she had yet to organize in her new place.

Her flat in central was very similar to her previous one in the east in design, the difference was that it was a bit more compact but newer and prettier in the details.

As she prepared coffee, she watched the light pass through the window sitting on top of her table, eyes falling on the cars moving on the street bellow. 

\---  
\--  
-

She parked in the front of his building, exactly at 6:10. It was just one block away from hers. She could quickly reach his apartment sprinting if necessity came. 

That was a nice change, she thought, as she leaned her arms into the wheel. She felt more at ease knowing they were closer, she could better protect him this way. 

Then she awaited. Now it was the random part of Riza routine she didn't particularly disliked. Unlike her, Roy wasn't a creature of habit. He wavered in between being on time, earlier than her, sometimes, and being late, terribly so, sometimes she had to knock on his door dragging him out of sleep. 

Sooner than later, the front door of the building was opened, his familiar mod of black hair emerging.

Riza smiled, pleased. Another day on time, she was sure he was reaching some personal record by now. 

"Good morning, sir." She said as soon as her settled in the passenger seat. 

He looked at her, completely out of it. Eyes narrowed, and hair messier than usual, she also noticed he hadn't shaved that morning. It gave him a darker edge. "Such a pity that it's morning already." He remarked dryly. "But good morning to you too."

Riza hid a smirk. He looked so good on his insomniac days. 

"What is it today, sir" She questioned as if to remind him, as she turned the engine on. "The newspaper, the coffee, or both?" 

"The newspaper." He muttered quickly, reaching for it in his door and unceremoniously placing the pages split in the middle over his face. He slid down the seat and crossed his arms over his chest. 

Riza, sympathetically, rolled her window closed, so nobody would be able to see inside through the dark painted glass. 

\---  
\--  
-

They arrived in the parking lot at 6:30. 

And Roy was still fast asleep in the seat. She waited a few seconds after killing the engine, even opened her door to produce noise, but nothing. 

"Sir." She called, placing a hand gently on his shoulder. 

He woke up with a jolt, and she quickly retreated her hand. The newspaper fell messily onto his lap. 

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant." He apologized. He rubbed his eyes and pushed his hair back. "I guess my body is still used to the drive to east HQ." He smiled then, looking finally back to the land of living. 

She nodded, glad that he rested, wordlessly handling him his mug of coffee, which he gladly accepted. 

They walked side by side but instead of going at the entrance, they circled the building, and headed towards the back. They separated in a corridor. 

"Until later, sir." She called, turning left. 

"Likewise." he replied, heading the opposite direction. 

\---  
\--  
-

Ever since she became a trainee the days in the HQ always started with the morning drills.

She stripped to her underclothes in the female locker room. Typically it was a lot more empty than the male one, as women in the military were still 1:3 of the men, and in central it seemed to be even of a smaller rate, plus, being this early she was the only one there. 

This was also a nice change, she pondered, never one to feel at easy with other coworkers outside her team. And Jesus, sometimes the women were just so nosy in there.

Riza closed her locker, resting her rifle on her shoulder. 

The shooting grounds were perhaps the change she most appreciated. It was a lot bigger, and the targets were always ready to shoot, she didn't have to set them herself each morning. 

She found a booth, put her protection googles, her ear mufflers. The back of the rifle felt familiar against her shoulder, just like her cheek resting on the metal. One hand or hers supported the cane, and the other was already set on the trigger.

She took aim.

And shot away. 

\---  
\--  
-

She left the shooting range at 7:00 sharp. Usually she didn't spend so much time on practicing her marksmanship but she felt the need to unwind a little. 

She went to the training grounds. Arriving there, she could see the males were already warming up running on the the various lanes of the right wing. The left wing was for the females to train. The army was always adamant about separating most of the living spaces between the both genders, as if it knew the anti-fraternization law wasn't enough to stop some dangerous ideas. 

Riza smiled wryly.

It didn't stop them either, but it was just on two occasions.

She allowed her memory to visit those sweet moments as she began to ran, her breathing condensing when it met the cold morning air.

The first time was in Ishvall, after they met after so long without hearing a thing about one another. The war had a way to push the most basic desires to surface. She wanted him for so long and he was also the only close person left in her life. She circled him one nigh in his tent, and he never tried to stop her.

The second time was right after she became his subordinate, again after a tense period post-war which they lost touch. She always planned to work with him, ever since she entered the army, but he didn't know that. He was the one to seek her, this time, entering her apartment and kissing her before she could form a word of greeting. She didn't stop him either. 

They've agreed to stop right after each time, and typically apologized to one another, as if they actually meant it. 

"Now that we're working together, we should be mindful of our carreers." 

"As I climb towards the top I will gather more enemies, this could get dangerous." 

"I'm sorry too. I should better control myself." 

"I'm glad you're here with me, but I understand we shouldn't..."

\---  
\--  
-

She sighted. They've also agreed to date other people, it was Riza herself that proposed it to him. 

"You already have a womanizer fame, I hear..."

"Much of it outrageously unfounded."

"It doesn't matter, you're already so young to have your fame. If they take you for a talented but lazy woman-crazy boy nobody will suspect of your true ambitions." 

"Haha, that's smart. It's better to be underestimated in this game."

"Yes. So... you should as well go out some times... for real." 

"....Then the same applies to you... You may be my subordinate, but I've always considered us equals. I want you to enjoy life a little too." 

"...That's just cliche, sir."

\---  
\--  
-

The memory was a bittersweet one. They made plans for the future naked on her bed, from how they would climb up the military ranks, to spending private time with others. Whatever relationship she had with him, it was never a traditional one, and this the least worry on her mind. It went unsaid that if they distracted themselves with others, at least sexually, it would be easier to avoid the tension sometimes palpable between them. 

As long as they could be together working towards their dreams, it was just enough. 

\---  
\--  
-

Riza finished her fourth round with cheeks red and some strands of hair falling against the sweaty nape of her neck. 

She pushed the collar of shirt away with her fingers, as she slowed down to a jog, and then finally a normal walk. She loved running almost as much as she loved shooting. Both activities had a way to make her thoughts flow, and relax her body. 

As she controlled her breathing she left the running grounds, but not before sparing a glance to her right, to see how Roy was faring. 

She pinpointed his black hair, standing out among the mostly blonde heads. He wasn't even running, instead he was sat on the bleachers, not bothering to hide yawn and a long stretch of his back. 

She shook her head, slightly amused. He sure would be annoying some for ditching out exercise so spectacularly like that. 

Suddenly, Riza felt a gaze on her back just then. She turned around slightly and faced a duo of girls running, her gazes set, quite unmistakable, on her. 

She spared them a curt nod, oddly wondering what that was about. 

\---  
\--  
-

She didn't have to wonder much. As Riza left the private shower, hair still tied up and dressed in her black undershirt and shorts, she spotted the two girls dressing nearby - just in front of her locker, actually.

She pointedly avoided looking at them, and went to her locker to grab her boots. 

Before she could reach it, she heard a call:

"Hey, Hawkeye..."

\---  
\--  
-

Riza was walking down the corridors that would lead to the main hall, an unreadable expression on her face.

It was still a bit early, 7:45 am, she concluded looking at her wrist-watch. She decided she would be eating something in the cafeteria before getting the key to open the office with Roy. 

Purely by chance, she met him emerging in perpendicular corridor to her own, mostly likely leaving the training grounds himself. 

"Oh, Lieutenant." He greeted, smiling, looking more refreshed than before - after resting a good 30 minutes, who wouldn't?

"Heading to the cafeteria, as well?" He asked.

"Yes, sir." Riza nodded, eyeing him a bit longer than usual. 

"I shall accompany you then." He informed her falling into step besides her, but with one eyebrow raised at her questioningly. Mostly likely he had noticed something was different in her demeanor. 

"Did you have a good training today?" He asked, after a few beats of silence. 

By then, she knew he already suspected something had happened during training. 

She smiled, allowing some of the tension of her shoulders to lift.

"Yes it was good... but I heard something funny in the locker room." 

She felt him looking at her.

"Oh, really?" 

\---  
\--  
-

"Hey, Hawkeye, did you notice that Colonel Mustang slacked off the whole drill?" 

Shit, she thought, sensing nothing good would come from that seemingly harmless question. She retrieved her boots, and kept her back to the girls, even as she answered: 

"It would seem so." She remarked, closing the locker, a bit cold, but coldness was just what people expected of her. 

"Any idea why is that?" 

At this, Riza was genuinely puzzled. She turned to them for a second, seeing eager expressions. She sat in the bank, crossed her legs and put on socks. 

"I don't know, it's just a normal occurrence." She answered after some consideration. 

"We're asking because we saw him leave a certain bar very late last night." 

Riza pushed her shoelaces tight, eyes settled on her shoes. "Is that so." She asked vaguely, somewhat irritated that those people wouldn't mind their own business. 

"...And he had a woman with him and he kissed her goodbye." One of the girls said, very seriously. "Do you think it was his girlfriend?" 

Oh, so that what this was about, she thought. 

\---  
\--  
-

Roy laughed, making a pause in her story telling.

"If only they knew I was only visiting my sisters and my stepmom. That girl they saw was just sis Annie."

Riza smiled, quite amused herself now that she wasn't living the situation. "And it gets worse, sir." She said, suspenseful to gauge his interest. 

"Pray tell then." 

\---  
\--  
-

"I don't wonder about my superior officer private affairs." Riza replied, eyes set on making the laces of the other boot. 

The girls produced a whine of frustration.

"But can't you try guess if it's anything serious? Aren't you his shadow or something?" 

At this, she finished the last tie, and looked up, fixing them with a glare.

"You meant that I am his bodyguard and coworker." 

\---  
\--  
-

Roy laughed again, sounding giggly.

"What now?" She looked up at him, not unkindly. 

"You got pissed off, didn't you." He stated the obvious. 

Riza sported a small smile herself, not denying it. 

\---  
\--  
-

The girls blanched a little after her look, but she felt no regret.

"Look, I am not about to badmouth my boss behind his back, but it's just a overstated truth that he's a womanizer... I don't think he does serious relationships..."

There. She was contributing to build his urban-legend-love-life-persona. 

"We heard about that before!" The girls looked among each other, meanwhile Riza brushed her hair, inwardly amused. 

"But oh, he's so handsome..." One of the girls sighed. 

"Makes you hate the antifrat laws, doesn't it." The other comented conspiratory. 

Riza felt completely out of place involuntary indulging in gossip about the Colonel, though she somewhat agreed on those comments.

She was hurrying as she could, so she could leave the duo before any more questions, but when she was settling her pistols on the holster over her rips, one of them dropped:

"He never tried anything with you?" 

Riza as sure what they meant, and it irked her. Even in the East, people just kept assuming they must have an affair.

"No, because that'd be unprofessional." She said coldly, and then after a surge of inspiration, she added:

"Plus, I'm sure I'm not his type."

\---  
\--  
-

"Hahaha." Roy laughed again, disturbing her story telling. "Such bullshit! Lieutenant!"

She looked at him, a shy smile playing on her lips as he locked gazes with hers, eyes shinning with mischief at their own private joke. 

"I can believe that they fell for that..." He added, huskily and at the same time goofy, which just made her smile grow wider, her cheeks flushing with color. 

"The best is yet to come, sir..." She said, as she returned to her tale. 

\---  
\--  
-

The girls looked somewhat surprised at her response.

"You know what his type is?" They asked, curiously. 

"Oh, I'm just quite sure he dislikes serious, career focused women." She said, feeling a embarrassing urge to giggle right then. 

"Oh." The girls looked at her in sympathy, like she was telling them she missed the greatest opportunity in life. 

"It's okay, girls." She replies, out-of-character, putting on her jacket. "I dislike how he doesn't take anything seriously, much less his job. I'm just glad he doesn't make things more unprofessional in that way in the office."

And then she walks away, wishing them a good morning. 

\---  
\--  
-

"Ouch, Lieutenant, you wound me this way." Roy remarks, feigning offense, after laughing freely.

"While I'm glad you're helping establish my slacker reputation, that comment bordered on insubordination, don't you think?" He added, teasingly. 

"I thought it would fit my role of the frigid subordinate." She smirked. "If not, sue me." 

He chuckled again, bumping his shoulder with hers in childish retaliation, she could help but giggle herself like a teenager. 

"Oh, how I love that sound." 

She looked at him at this, caught-of-guard, cheeks flushed.

Just then they arrived at the cafeteria. 

"You've already made my day, and it's not 8 o'clock yet." He told her, in his most charming smile, and capturing her elbow boldly with his palm, he whispered to her:

"Allow me to repay you." 

Her eyes widened, wondering if he had lost his mind doing that in the middle of that very public space.

She glanced around discreetly but frantically, relieved that the cafeteria was mostly empty save for some staring onto their coffee cups. Her paranoia quelled, with some delay her mind got stuck on what he could possibly mean by that.

"Flatterer." She muttered, finally recovering her grounds, noticing had walked ahead and was greeting people already, looking suspiciously too upbeat at it.

Riza smiled exasperated, crossing her arms over her chest.

She knew the ambiguity of that statement was entirely intentional. She would hold him on to that.

 

\---

\--

-

 

_I've got the feeling I can break_  
_Out of anything that is standing in my way_

_You're the reason I can stay_  
_And fight until the death_  
_’Cause what I stand for will not give up_

**Author's Note:**

> \--- 
> 
> I've always liked the idea that Roy and Riza could have something of a open relationship as a solution to their predicament. 
> 
> The lyrics are from Don't mess with me, by Brody Dalle.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
